Sunday - 2/7/06

I dont know how to feel, or what to say.

My dad has been a respectable person to me since I learned how to walk and talk. He was only respectable because I spent my whole life being afraid of him.

It may be weird, since he gave me a whole lot of freedom since Sec 1. I could go out anytime I wanted, unless there was a family event or emergency. And now, he just takes it all away. And he expects us to accept it, adapt to it, and stick to it.

Are we not people with our own feelings and desires? The only reason I stay out late is because of church and friends. I get the feeling that he's suggesting my friends are "no good". Am I not 17 this year? I'm already going on to 18. Am I only looked at as someone who can think and look out for herself when I'm 30, married with kids?

Our whole family are the "shou hai zhe"s whenever he is in a bad mood. We become his punching bag.

Give me and the people I spend time with some credit. You dont seem happy that I'm gradually getting closer to God by the day. But as I'm getting closer to God, I'm getting further away from you. Is that the way things are supposed to be?

You are the man that I love the most in my entire life. So how come..we only communicate through sms or written letters? Dont you think its so sad?

I have thank you notes to you all over my space. How come I'm afraid to give them to you? I guess they wont be appreciated anyway.

But still..Dads will always be the man of your life [besides your husband] no matter what happens. Yeah, contradiction. Thats what I'm best at anyway.


I spent the day at Belle's. We surfed the net, talked on msn and playing games. It was really fun. I really missed spending the day like that. It seems like you have the most fun even if you dont spend money, because you've got your friends.

I thank God la. Everything that He has given me is never compromised on quality.